I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
