i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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