***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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