oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
