We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
