Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
