I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
