Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
