no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
