I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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