i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had sex on a roof
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
