Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.

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(406): View more from Montana

You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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(513): View more from Ohio

Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.

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(716): View more from New York

Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?

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(480): View more from Arizona

i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went

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