I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Less talking, more tequila
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
