You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
