ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
