; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
