I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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