I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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