Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
