I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
