Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
