For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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