Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
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