Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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