I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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