i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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