You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
