i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Randomize
