Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
