It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
