And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
