The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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