I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
