I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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