it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this boner is exhausting
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize