I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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