He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
