there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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