Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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