the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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