I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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