Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
