Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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