just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize