She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
