I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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