Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
