Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize