Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
