Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize