im drinking this country out of the recession.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
