bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
