yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
