Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
