Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What drink are we having for lunch?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
